


12x10 Coda: Worth the Wait

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Coming Out, Dean and Castiel Use their Words, Feelings, Gender Identity, Holding Hands, Love Confessions, M/M, Season/Series 12, Sexual Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9575450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: After their encounter with Lily Sunder, Dean has a few questions for Cas and gets some unexpected answers.





	1. Chapter 1

It was a few days after Lily Sunder that a small bit of information circled back around in Dean's brain. Cas had been a woman when he met her. He brought it up when he and Cas had a little moose free time on a grocery run.

 

“How do you determine what vessel you hop into?”

 

“We seek out the devout, the willing. You know this.”

 

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Yeah, no, that's...okay, different approach. How do you decide if you want to be a chick or a dude?”

 

“It is of no import. Humans have such a binary view of gender. When I saw your soul I saw no gender. I saw something bright and beautiful. I became aware of your body's gender when I rebuilt you. I still considered you beautiful.”

 

Dean blushed a little. He wasn't used to compliments from Cas. “So now that you're, you know,  _ you _ , do you think of yourself as a guy?”

 

“Yes. I am resigned to being a man. Why are we having this discussion?”

 

He wasn't prepared for that. How was he supposed to answer? Curiosity? Making conversation? The truth? “Because us binary humans like answers. I just wanted to know if you're a guy in there or a guy _because_ you're in there.”

 

“Oh.” Cas mused. It posed an interesting view in relation to human sexuality. “So if I identified as female in a male body, I would be transgender. If I was a woman, truly, my attraction to human males would be considered normal and not classified as homosexual in nature. I believe I understand now.”

 

Dean swerved on the road, narrowly avoiding putting them in a ditch. “You’re gay?” 

 

“That is how you would perceive me. I find the human male form more appealing.”

 

Dean wasn’t sure what to do with this new piece of information. Suddenly the interactions between Cas and Mick took on a new meaning. “You like that British guy? He was flirting with you, you know.”

 

Cas sighed in exasperation. “No. He’s an arrogant dick. And I was aware of his flirtation. I thought I had deflected it.”

 

“Oh. Okay. Have you...have you been with a guy?”

 

“No I have not. I may never. I’d prefer not to have or be a random ‘hook up’(air quotes) at a bar and that is mostly what our lifestyle as hunters can afford.”

 

“So what do you want?”

 

Cas fidgeted in his seat. He wasn't comfortable answering that. He’d only give himself away and further solidify his belief that his affection was unrequited. But he had trouble lying to Dean. The hunter always knew. “I want a long term and committed relationship. Angels mate for life. Once we have found our significant other we are essentially bound until death.”

 

Now Dean felt uncomfortable. “Are we holding you back, Cas? Keeping you from being happy?”

 

“No, Dean. My happiness lies with you, even though we have our occasional spats.”

 

_ Was that-? Was that supposed to mean what I think it means? _ “Do you have feelings for me?”

 

Cas growled low in his throat. He didn't want to discuss this issue further but knowing Dean he wouldn't let up. “Yes,” he admitted. He flinched and braced himself for the barrage of reasons he shouldn’t.

 

Dean let the confession sink in. He already sort of knew the answer. Only a man in love would put himself on the line like Cas had. He’d fallen further and further away from heaven and closer to Dean. The ingredients for Metatron’s spell all revolved around love. A cupid’s bow, heart of a nephilim, grace from an angel who’d fallen in love… It made sense why Cas was the one he needed to finish it.

 

“I got feelings for you, too. They don't make any sense to me. I mean I can look at a guy and know he's hot but I’ve never wanted to sleep with one. But then there's this guy who knows me better than me and is always there no matter how much of an asshole I can be. When I see a future for me I see you in it and I don't know what to do about it.” He was rambling. He rambled when he was nervous.

 

“Would this be easier if you perceived me as a woman?”

 

“Well, yeah. I’d get the attraction part and it wouldn't be all weird if we went from friends to...to more than friends.”

 

Cas turned in his seat to face Dean. “I am a wavelength of celestial intent. I have no gender. Your soul has no gender. We are just two beings who happen to inhabit male bodies. How other humans see us are on them, not us. Love is love. It's pure and transcending.”

 

“Yeah? So I don't have to question my entire sexual identity if I fall for an angel?”

 

“I suppose not. I, myself, am willing to present myself as an openly gay man. This is nothing to be ashamed of.”

 

Dean shrugged. “I know that. It's just, I spent over half my life as a ladies’ man. Now I'm pushing forty and suddenly I'm shacked up with a dude? Isn't that a major identity crisis?”

 

“According to many things I've read this isn't an uncommon occurrence. People who come out later in life do so because they find their ideal mate.”

 

“So you’re saying I can just all of a sudden be bisexual and it's perfectly normal?”

 

“If you wish to label yourself, yes.” He plucked at a loose thread on his coat. “Your brother would accept you without hesitation.”

 

Dean gripped the steering wheel. For only a four year gap in age he and Sam were a generation apart. He was Gen X through and through with his angst and nihilist views. Sammy was a millennial. Open to everything the world had to offer and obsessed with technology. In another life he’d probably be a hacktivist, a social justice warrior. 

 

They pulled into the Whole Foods parking lot. Dean got out first and when Cas fell in beside him he reached for his hand. Cas squinted in confusion. “If we're doing this I gotta start somewhere. Just be patient with me, okay Cas?” The angel smiled and squeezed his hand.

 

“You’re worth the wait, Dean.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Dean to come out to Sam.

The change was gradual. Sam noticed that Dean and Cas somehow managed to sit even closer. He noticed that their hugs were more frequent and lingering. He wanted to confront them, tell them whatever they had going on was cool with him, but he was also afraid Dean would shut down and retreat.

  


He didn't mean to witness the first kiss. He was going to the library to get a couple books. He heard quiet whispers  between the stacks. Ever on alert because of the British Men of Letters, he pulled his gun from his back and crept up on the voices.

  


“I want to, Cas. You’ve been so patient with me, letting me get comfortable enough to do this. So please, can I just kiss you now?”

  


“Yes.”

  


Sam watched as Dean cupped the angel’s face and brought their lips together. He was too shocked to breathe. He had to force himself to move when the kiss deepened and the two men started moaning into it. Some things a little brother aren't meant to see.

  


They slipped up occasionally. They reached for each other's hands under the table. Dean would lean in for a kiss without thinking and Cas would clear his throat to remind him they weren't alone. Sam did his best to hide his smirk.

  


One time Dean asked him to ride along to do the beer run instead of Cas. He wasn't expecting anything really. The rode in silence most of the way until Dean broke it.

  


“I gotta tell you something, Sammy. It's uh...it's kinda big.”

  


“I’m listening.”

  


“Me and Cas. We’re  _ together _ . Like a couple. It's...different. It's good, though. We’re taking our time, doing things right. We wanna, you know, shack up. He’s moving his stuff in my room,  _ our _ room, right now. So I just wanted to tell you.”

  


Sam kept his stoic expression. He wanted to squeal like a fangirl. “Good. I'm happy for you guys.”

  


Dean looked relieved, like a huge weight was lifted from him. “You know, Cas says that angels mate for life. I'm in this for the long haul. No more cruising bars, no more strip clubs.”

  


“So what? You're like angel married now?”

  


“For all intents and purposes.”

  


Sam allowed himself a sly grin. “Are you doing it?”

  


Dean rolled his eyes. “ _ Doing it? _ What are you, twelve? And no. We’re not there yet. I told you, we’re taking our time.”

  


Sam put his hands up in defense. “Okay. Just asking. Sorry. It's big news. Not every day your brother tells you he’s gay.”

  


“Whoa, not gay. Technically, I'm bisexual if you wanna label it. Cas is gay. He told me he’s exclusively into guys. He said sometimes people don't realize what they want until they find the person they're meant to be with.”

  


Sam accepted that. He was pretty sure he was straight but if he happened to fall in love with a guy he’d go with it. “You gonna tell Mom?”

  


Dean bristled. Their mom was from a different time. He wasn't sure how she’d take it. “Guess I'll have to. What do you think she’ll say?”

  


“That she loves you no matter what.” Sam answered without hesitation. Anything less and he’d probably disown her. His brother deserved to be happy, to be with the person who made him happy.

  


“Will you be there? When I tell her?”

  


Sam patted his hand on Dean's knee. “Whatever you need, man. Just gonna wait till she comes around again?”

  


“Yeah. This ‘coming out’ thing...it's hard, you know? Telling people you're not who they think you are. I’ve been trying to tell  _ you _ for weeks and I already knew you'd be cool with it. Mom, man, she could be like Dad.”

  


Sam rolled his eyes at the mention of John Winchester. John had way too narrow views of  _ everything. _ He’d lose his shit over them having Crowley and Rowena on speed dial. “Bobby would have been happy for you. He was an old Marine, too. Just depends. I think Mom would just be happy you're not alone. You have somebody, somebody you don't have to hide part of yourself from. Cas...he literally knows your soul. It doesn't get more perfect than that.”

  
Dean smiled. Sammy always had a way with words. It made him feel pretty good about the whole thing. No more sneaking around with his...boyfriend? Husband? They’d get to share a bed tonight whether anything happened or not and that was cool. It was worth the wait.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Didn't expect my Coda to be this long but I'm a sucker for happy endings, especially for my OTP Destiel. Thanks for reading and commenting!

“Heya, Sammy! Got any plans for tonight?” Dean clamped a hand on his shoulder and plopped down beside him at the library table. Sam marked his page and closed the musty tome.

 

“Not particularly. I’ve been trying to read everything about nephilim I can get my hands on. What Cas knows...it could all be a bunch of scary bedtime stories for angels. He’s been lied to by those dicks so much.”

 

Dean frowned. “All very noble, diligent of you. The thing is...I kind of don't want you in the bunker tonight.”

 

Sam cast him a bitchface. “What could be more important than... _ ohhh.  _ Tonight's the big night, huh?” His expression turned to his puppy dog grin. He elbowed his brother.

 

Dean’s face and neck turned crimson. Unlike his previous conquests, he didn't want Sam thinking about what he’d be doing with his angel later. “Shut up. Can you make plans or not? I haven't told Cas yet so…”

 

“Yeah. I can take my books and get a crappy motel room. Give you guys some space. Just...don't do it all over the place. I don't want to eat or sleep where your naked ass has been.”

 

“Hasn't bothered you before,” Dean said with a shit eating grin on his face.

 

“Eww! Gross, Dean!”

 

“What? I clean. Can't a man enjoy a bowl of Lucky Charms in the buff?” Dean’s smile got wider as Sam made mock barfing sounds. 

 

“Ugh. I’m outta here. Please have some pants on when I get back tomorrow.” Sam scooped up his books and went for the stairs.

 

“No promises, Sammy!” Dean called after him. The last thing he saw of his brother was a middle finger. Now to get his plan into motion.

 

They’d been  _ intimate _ since Cas moved in with him. They had fumbled through handjobs and their first blowjobs. He knew sex wasn't as important to Cas in the grand scheme of things but he was a man of action. He showed his affection through touch. He wanted Cas to feel his love even though the words came so easily now. 

 

Cas was very tactile as well. The first time Dean completely stripped for him he just laid there as Cas mapped out every line of him with his fingertips. Dean just shivered at the feather light touches. He let Cas take as much time as he wanted to reacquaint himself with the body he once rebuilt. He did the same for Cas and after a long evening of foreplay they rocked together into each other's fists. Then Cas fell asleep in Dean's arms.

 

***

 

Cas was out for the afternoon. Crowley had set him up with a couple contacts. Demonic headhunters who knew a thing or two about the tales of nephilim. Cas promised he’d smite them the second anything went south. Dean was worried but Cas had learned that it wasn't due to any doubts he had if him, he would always be afraid of losing him. 

 

The demons weren't that much help anyway. All he walked away from the meeting with was of some more of the lore he’d already known. He salvaged the trip by stopping to buy Dean some pie.

 

When he pulled his truck into the garage he noticed a stall was empty. Sam must be out. He could enjoy some alone time with his beloved, even if it was just eating pie and snuggling on the couch to watch a movie. Dean could easily give him a peck on the lips in front of his brother but he still seemed embarrassed to cuddle.

 

Something smelled good in the kitchen. Dean was cooking. “Hello, Dean.” He greeted the hunter with a kiss. “I brought pie.”

 

“You definitely know the way to this man’s heart. How’d it go with stunt demons one and two?”

 

“They were useless, harmless. Complete waste of time.” Cas shucked his trenchcoat and suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He fell into rhythm with Dean in the kitchen. They worked well together. “Will Sam be home soon?”

 

“Actually...I told him to make himself scarce for the night. We are having a romantic date at home. Unless you had other ideas?”

 

Cas smiled. “No, this is perfect.” He moved in behind Dean, embracing him and resting his head on Dean's shoulder. He reveled in the closeness he could enjoy now. Dean was his mate. 

 

Dean knew Cas had made some concessions for him. He didn't have to eat and stuff probably still tasted like molecules to him but he joined Dean for meals anyway. He didn't have to sleep but he curled into the hunter every night and dozed for awhile. He even took to wearing jeans and tshirts around the bunker. He wanted them to fit, to be right. 

 

Dinner was good, to Dean at least. He broke out some dusty old bottle of wine from the cellar instead of beer. Cas seemed to relish the taste, commenting on a long ago memory of the Vineyard it came from. He loved that about Cas, always teaching him something, revealing pieces of his past that were pleasant. He held Cas’ hand and just stared at him in adoration.

 

It was still early so Dean suggested a movie. If Sam had been around he’d pull out some action flick or sci-fi. When he was with Cas he was comfortable enough to let down the macho facade and play a romantic comedy or two. Cas didn't mind. He just sat back with Dean half laying in his lap and absent-mindedly stroked Dean's hair.

 

“Another film, Dean?” He asked as Dean stretched out and sat up. 

 

“What if...what if we did something else tonight?” He stroked Cas’ cheek with his finger.

 

“You mean...you’re ready to...us?”

 

“I mean, if you're not we don't have to go that far. But I definitely want to make love to you tonight.”

 

Cas was on him in a flash. Dean was on his back on the couch and the angel had his tongue deep in Dean's mouth. He was pinned under celestial strength and kind of enjoying this aggressive side to Cas. It seemed like a lifetime ago that he said he was into frisky women. A frisky angel beat that hands down.

 

“Whoa, easy, tiger. We got all night. Not that I'm not really good with you in the driver's seat.”

 

“I’d like to go to our bedroom now.” Cas phrased it passively but the aggression was still heavy in his voice. Dean allowed himself to be pulled up and led back to their room. 

 

He had candles set up. He’d planned on doing the whole chick flick, first time, romance spiel. He even put on silk boxers. The effort wasn't lost on Cas at least. He waved his hand and lit the candles.

 

“This is lovely, Dean,” He said as he let his tie fall to the floor. Dean had never seen him so interested in sex before. He’d been the one to make all the moves. “We’ve been going at your pace, Dean. I would never take what is not freely given.”

 

“I gave myself to you when I took your hand. I meant when I said I'm in this. I want to be your mate, your forever. I want you to be mine.” Dean went for the remaining buttons on Cas’ shirt. Their movements had become more fluid since they’d begun undressing each other for bed.

 

“I love you, Dean. But I need you to know something about our mating rituals before you agree to go any further.” Cas kissed him tenderly and sat him on the bed. “Symbolically we would mark our claim on one another. It could be brand or a bite. It leaves a scar. This is usually at the climax of lovemaking.” 

 

Dean reached up to touch were his scar used to be. “You already called dibs on me eight years ago, babe.”

 

Cas leaned in to kiss his mark. “And your ribs already say something to the effect that you are mine.”

 

“Really? I’ve had an angel tramp stamp all this time too? You're one possessive boyfriend,” Dean joked. “So how do I, you know, claim you back?”

 

Cas smiled. “I carry a piece of your soul within my grace. I am claimed as well. I was going to suggest the human way of expressing our union with rings.” He closed his palm and there was a small flash of light. He opened it to show Dean two silver rings.

 

He picked one up and slid it on Cas’ finger then held out his for Cas to do the same. “Should I say ‘I do’ or something?”

 

Cas laughed. “I do as well.”

 

“Okay, so now you gonna believe you're a Winchester?” He kissed Cas’ hand and wove their fingers together. “What else you got?”

 

“We would groom one another's wings. Again, I believe our rather intimate showering rituals fulfill that. We have  _ thoroughly  _ groomed one another.”

 

Dean blushed. They had enjoyed quite a few sexy showers. “Anything else?”

 

“I need permission to enter your vessel.”

 

Okay, not what Dean had expected. He kind of thought since Cas was sure about being gay that he’d want...but apparently not. Dean was suddenly even more nervous than he was when he thought he’d be the top. But it was Cas and he loved him. He trusted him. And he wanted to give Cas whatever he needed to feel truly mated to him. “Yes.”

 

It started slowly, as they usually did. Dean was kind of big on foreplay. He settled back on the bed and let Cas lay on top of him. So far so good. They’d been in this position before. He’d felt Cas rut against him as they stroked to completion.

 

“I won't hurt you, Dean. I can use my grace.”

 

“Gonna need some lube too, baby. I'm still human.” Then Dean felt something warm and wet between his legs. Perks of an angel boyfr-  _ husband.  _ He felt the heat of Cas lining up and the dull head pressed to his virgin hole. He was tense.  _ I’m a forty year old virgin. _

 

Almost as soon as the pressure increased he felt the coolness of Cas’ grace down there. He felt no pain as he was stretched and filled with the angel’s cock. He gasped at all the new sensations, including when the head brushed what he assumed was his prostate. His own dick went rigid in an instant.

 

Cas rocked into him. He instinctively wrapped his legs around Cas’ back and held on. “I love you so much. Love being yours.” He let himself be taken by the angel. It felt better than he could have imagined. He was so free in that moment.  It was just the two of them and even the room faded away. He was swept up in the crashing waves of blue as grace flashed behind Cas’ eyes. A perfect storm rolled between them.

 

“Mine,” Cas growled. He grabbed Dean's shoulder and felt the electric shock of his mark ignite. Light glowed around them both as Dean screamed out his orgasm. He felt Cas twitch inside him and cum spurt against his walls. He may have even blacked out for a few seconds. He’d thought he _ ’ _ d had mind blowing sex before…

 

“Mine,” Cas said again, this time a whisper. He kissed Dean so softly, caressing his face. He settled his full weight down after clearing the mess. He nuzzled into Dean's neck. “We are one, Dean. Mated.”

 

Dean could barely feel his limbs. He tingled all over. He wondered if it was the afterglow of the best sex ever or if angel jizz had some magical property he was unaware of. He let Cas cover him with lazy kisses until he found the strength to return them.

 

“Mated. Married. Can't promise you a happy ever after.”

 

“As long as we're together I'm happy.” He slid off Dean and held him as the 

little spoon as the took a well deserved rest.

 

***

 

Dean woke first to the smell of coffee. They’d left the door open last night.  _ So much for Sammy's pants rule _ . He looked around to see if there were any boxers nearby.  _ Nothing Sammy ain’t seen before. _ He slid out of bed and put on a pair of sweats from his dresser. He grabbed some flannel pj pants and laid them on the bed next to his sleeping angel.

 

He padded down to the kitchen and was startled to see Chuck sitting at the table, sipping from his ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ mug. “Chuck.”

 

“Dean.”

 

“You got a hot lead on the Devil’s spawn?” Dean grabbed a cup and poured. He got down one for Cas as well. Mr. Grumpy wouldn't be far behind. 

 

“He is being concealed by very powerful forces. My sister is working on it. She's more attuned to darkness. I came because I felt the mating bond between you and Castiel.”

 

_ Great. My father-in-law knows I’ve been touched by an angel. _ “Oh? You come to bless our union or something?”

 

Cas shuffled in on autopilot.  He had already downed half his cup of coffee before he noticed his father was in the room. “Father.”

 

“So formal, Castiel. Congratulations on finding your mate. Although if you two hadn't started making this up as you go it would have happened much sooner.”

 

“What? The hell are talking about?” There was a bit of anger in Dean's voice. “You knew about this?”

 

Chuck conjured a stack of papers clamped together. “There it is. All in black and white. My unpublished Gospel of Destiel.” He slid the stack over to Dean. “You weren’t supposed to go back to Lisa. Castiel was to comfort you after your loss and you would realize how profound your bond was.”

 

Dean flipped through the pages, scanning as he went. Cas was a little more focused after his caffeine fix. 

 

“You brought me back to be with Dean. Why has this only happened now?”

 

“Because, my son, you are so much like me. You stubbornly have to find your own way. When you rebelled against me I had to step back and stop meddling with your love life. I sent you to save Dean's soul. I resurrected you. But you two mavericks flipped the script, so to speak.”

 

“We’re meant to be?” Dean asked. He’d never been a big fan of fate.

 

“Long story short, yes. It's been a slow burn, kids, but worth the wait. It's how it should be.  _ Mazel tov. _ ” Chuck tipped his cup and disappeared.

 

***

 

Sam came home closer to noon. He found Dean and Cas under a blanket on the sofa, Dean wearing the reading glasses he’d hated to need. They were going over what appeared to be a manuscript.

 

“I _ ’ _ m home! You guys decent?” 

 

“Yes, Sam. We are fully clothed.” Cas replied dryly. 

 

“What are you reading?”

 

“Chuck brought over one of his unpublished novels. Apparently me and Cas were supposed to get hitched years ago.” Dean explained.

 

“Hitched?”

 

Dean had nearly forgotten that part of their mating rituals. He held up his hand to show his brother the ring. “Whaddya know? Actual waited for my wedding night.”

 

“ _ Dean _ , _ ”  _ Cas admonished. He clung to a shred of modesty.

 

“What? We're married. Married people have sex.”

 

Sam shook off the image. “Congratulations. It's nice, you know, that you're officially my brother, Cas. You’ll never forget that you're family, one of us.”

  
Cas smiled warmly. He was right. He was part of a family who loved him. He’d never forget it.


End file.
